Tuesday, December 18

Doomsday Resolution - Clean the Microwave

(I am not certain whether a reader was scolding me today or reassuring me but let me be clear...if I TRULY  believed that the world was ending on Friday, I would not waste valuable time on my computer.  The fact is, people with very expensive opinions encourage us to live every day as though it was our last.  Not with the reckless abandon of a looter, of course, but with humility and awe.  Each day is a gift and the time we spend should never be taken for granted.  This blog is not intended to be instructional, nor do I wish to promote public panic.  It's intended to be tongue in cheek - if it's not, then my writing is worse than I feared.)

The countdown towards doomsday continues and things are rolling smoothly here at casa del wordpecker.


We've decided to give the house a good cleaning and have committed to keeping up with the laundry.  Regardless of how the end presents itself, it's probably a safe bet that the fall of human civilization will likely come with some interruption to our power which means losing all the conveniences of life.  No water, no lights, no modern cooking appliances or household heating systems, among other things.  What's more, I have absolutely no experience with power generation so the future doesn't hold a lot of promise for finding a solution for power-free living.  I'm trying to envision a future without vacuum cleaners - nothing but dirty thoughts.

When I think about a post-apocalyptic future, I figure we're all going to end up on foot headed somewhere other than here.  A brief decolonization that has people travelling in small groups before meeting up somewhere else and forming a new community.  A magical and mysterious someplace to be divulged when the right opportunity presents itself.  In this scenario, I figure that the house will become a stop along the way for road weary travellers and...well...I want it to be clean.

I will be taking great care to clean out the microwave oven.  It is astonishing to me how quickly and thoroughly that device becomes polluted by food scraps.  It's amazing how there is any food left on the dinner plate at all. By Thursday, that microwave oven will be sparkling clean and completely off limits to the kids.  The dishwasher will be empty, laundry done, folded and put away, bathroom pristine and carpets vacuumed (for the third time this week.) Beds will be made, floors mopped, furniture dusted, throw pillows puffed up, new batteries in the smoke detectors, and glade refills...refilled.

I don't know that everyone else will be preparing for the end in quite this way, but I still hope that other people will be extending the same courtesy.  Cleanliness, after all, is next to Godliness.

It's settled then!  With only 3 days left until the decolonization of earth, we will rejoice in a spotless home.

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