Brownie Points

March is the month of birthdays here in Ottawa. My husband celebrated his on the 4th, my niece celebrated on the 16th, my other niece has a birthday on Thursday and Mom turns 60 on Sunday! There have been black forest cakes, a rocking horse cake, and a cake that looked like a turtle made with edible play dough. There will be more cake before the end of the month, but I am curious to see the next one.

You see, my mother, father, brother, sister-in-law and sister have all just reinstated their diets. Everything in my Mom's fridge has been marked with their Weight Watcher Points' value in black, permanent marker. My mom has the little Weight Watcher computer that calculates Points using total fat, calories and fibre. When I open the fridge, I see some of my favourite foods marked with a big 2 or 3 or -- God Forbid -- a 4! The cake on the counter had a little sticker on it that said - 1/8 of the cake - 2 points. Who eats 1/8 of a cake; points or no points?

I'm not on a diet...not now...not anytime soon. My biggest problem is that I don't eat regularly. I get busy and miss meals which means I end up starving and then I binge. For every 1 cup of water I drink, I drink about 3 cups of coffee. (I take one sugar and one cream.) My weight fluctuates slightly with the seasons -- I gain a little weight over the winters -- but I'm pretty much the same size I was when I got married. I don't obsess about my weight. I don't have scales and I don't have a full-length mirror. If my clothes fit well, my weight is fine. If they start to get tight, I cut back a little until they loosen up. It's that simple.

I almost always feel sad for people on diets. As soon as they call it a "diet," there is inevitably a look that falls across their face. It is a shameful, downtrodden look that carries with it a kind of surrender of their very spirit. People are so attached to their food. Everybody is. You don't believe me? Ask someone to name their favourite food. If they don't instantly light-up, ask them to describe it to you. You'll see. I think food's ability to trigger emotions is largely responsible for the warm reception I receive at the camp, the cottage and from the neighbours. You see, I am known for my brownies...I make brownies that taste so good they will make you cry. I figure that one 1" square piece is probably 10 points. I assure you that they are worth 20.

The menu for mom's birthday is vegetarian chili, salads and low-fat dressing. The chili is actually awesome AND good for you which is great. I'll bring my own Mediterranean Dressing (worth 2 Points per TABLESPOON) and maybe a bag of buns to see if I can get a reaction. I will patiently listen as my sister, sister-in-law and mother announce the Point Value of every item on the table. I will patiently listen as they share low-fat, low-calorie recipes. I will join them on their afternoon walk so that they fulfill their requirement for 20-minutes of daily exercise. I will support them (OK...no buns) and love them and hope that they meet their targets so that one day.....

in the not-so-long future,

we may celebrate their success...

over a tray of brownies.