I got home on Wednesday afternoon at about 5 pm. I heated up a can of beans for dinner (not kidding) and collected all of my ingredients. I got a little distracted with gift wrapping and realized at about 8 pm that I was running over schedule. I unwrapped my $13.00 worth of chocolate, poured my 35% cream and measured out 2 tbsp from my bottle of Grand Marnier. I heated the cream, added the chocolate, butter and liqueur. Following the directions, I placed the saucepan into the freezer to cool the mixture enough to work with. What? I have to wait one hour for it to harden? An hour? Are you kidding me? It's almost 9 pm!
At 10 pm, I removed the mixture from the freezer. Brandishing my melon baller, I began to scoop out balls of chocolate yummie-ness. Uh oh, I can't get it out of the melon baller. I have to scoop it out with a tiny little spoon. My vision of terrific truffles morphed into a reality of oblong abominations. Yikes!"No problem," I think, "I can fix this." I read the instructions again -- place the truffles on a baking sheet and return to the freezer to harden. OK. I remove them after about 15 minutes later and try to shape them into perfectly round little balls only to find that they are melting into the palms of my hands. (I'm thinking that I should have made them with M&Ms.) I gently try to re-shape them with my fingertips while I melt the rest of my chocolate in a dish ready to cover these delightful little delicacies. I dunked one, two then three. I thought this part was going to be easier. It wasn't. The chocolate is much thicker than I thought it would be and it cools fast. I ended up having to throw out about 8 tbsp of chocolate and re-melt another batch to finish up. This task certainly didn't go as planned. The clock is racing past 10:30 pm and my eyes are starting to burn. I'm tired. I finished dunking the last of my truffles and put them into a container to finish setting.
At 11 pm I threw the dishes into the sink, soaked the chocolate stained dishcloths and headed to bed. I squirted some Spray & Wash on my sweater, dug chocolate out from beneath my fingernails and hopped into bed.
As I lay there trying to sleep, I added up my costs and figured that -- time included -- my truffles cost approximately $2.85 each. If the stain doesn't come out of my sweater, that will increase to about $3.43.
Next year I'm going to the drug store to buy Lindt Lindor Chocolate Truffles. In fact, I'll buy the biggest bag they sell and laugh all the way to the checkout! With or without a coupon, on or off sale, I'll laugh knowing that I paid WAY LESS than I did this year.
Here's the picture from the recipe.Pretty don't you think?
I'm confident that they were made by Stepford Wives in a state of the art kitchen at 10:30 am on a Saturday morning. Damn those Stepford Wives and the Kraft Kitchens marketing machine. Damn them all!
4 more sleeps!
4 comments:
Yours don't look bad! I like the diversity.
Wordpecker jr. here they taste as good as they look I think they taste better than they look but what I liked better was the cookie fudge and the candy cane bark and score bar I can't choose I love them all so much I don't have a favorite.
That's some funny stuff. You could make any bake chef quiver in envy.
Don't give up
I think you can sleep soundly knowing the Stepford wife who made those truffles is probably on enough Prozac to chill out an angry rhino.
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