Coming Home

“Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his works.” —Virginia Woolf 



I am fortunate enough to have fallen in with a spectacular group of women. (If they agree to it, I'll tell you more about our sisterhood in future posts.)   I posted a link to this blog in our group page to share this site with them. To do so, of course, meant a visit. A homecoming of sorts.

What was intended to be a quick visit and a copied link turned into an evening of remembering for me as I read through old posts. I laughed out loud at some of them and got a little teary when I read about my Grandmother. I saw how far I've come across the years.  I can't believe that I made no posts in 2014.  Except for a brief moment of regret at that oversight, I still find joy in my posts which makes me so very, very grateful for my chronicle. It reminds me. It comforts me. It grounds me. It celebrates me. Coming here and not posting tonight would be like passing an old friend on the street and looking the other way. It's just not right. So I thought I would take a moment and feed my blog. 

December 2012 - We can celebrate the fact that the world didn't end in 2012 as predicted by the doomsayers. I got scolded by someone who thought that the collective consciousness should avoid any conversation that contributed to "end-of-the-world negativity." All I gathered from her comment is that she didn't read my blog. It hurt my feelings for a second but then the world kept spinning....pun intended.

February 2013 - You should know that My Asshole Cat ("MAC") did not survive the harsh realities of country life. He either contributed to the food chain or got married and moved away....you can choose your own ending to that story.   His replacement's name is Buddha but I refer to him lovingly as Kitiot. While he's not half the gentleman MAC was, he is his reincarnate when it comes to his need to be heard. My daughter named him Buddha which is a complete misnomer because he acts more like the head of Chaos; hence the nickname Kitiot.    He's only allowed outside during daylight hours.

My kids have flown the nest which makes this Wordpecker an Empty-Nester. I've always known that "empty nest" meant the kids moved out but I was not aware that it also refers to the fact that when they leave...they take  e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.   The mattress for the futon/couch/spare bed is now in my daughter's apartment while the "harder to store" frame is leaning on the wall in my kitchen where my dining room table used to be.  Instead, I have a lovely new couch on my credit card and I eat my dinner at my desk because my daughter left with my table and chairs.  Strangely, she did not take her cat.

So I have a cat in my empty nest...hmmm....that seems so metaphorical. (We may need to explore that in a later post.)

I'm at the lake, gearing up for Summer 2015. Exciting times here at the lakeside as I hammer out plans to exchange my seasonal for a permanent year-round-home.  (GOD I LOVE PUNS!!)  I cannot tell you how excited I am to grow my roots again. In the last 7 years one of my constants has been my love for the lake. I cannot imagine being anywhere else. It is my place in this world. It is where I find my magic, my inspiration, my belonging.   It is home.

Head Case

So here's the thing. We learned a couple of years ago that my sister had a brain tumor that we would later come to find included stage 3 cancer. Her prognosis was poor and she was preparing for the worst while hoping for the best.

Over a year later she has a new, optimistic prognosis and is well on her way to recovery. So we're writing her story. Which means one more blog.

I have Intermittent Tappings of a Wordpecker where I write about the world I see. I have a private blog - Uncivilized Me - that captures my most intimate thoughts - thoughts not fit for public consumption. My sister and I have now built BigBrainInc on Wordpress to build her book and tell her story.

So what?

So during this project, Intermittent will be just that. Things I feel I need to share with and about the world I live in. Uncivilized will continue to serve as an outlet for my most deeply personal experiences...a way for me to remember some important developments in my inner life. My diary so to speak.

Stick with me bloggers and followers. I promise to check in, but be patient as I venture down a new path. My sister's story would be the first telling I have ever attempted. It is important to me to do it justice. I promise to keep you apprised of our progress.

Still drinking coca cola? Watch this!

I've been living in my head lately, posting often to my private blog with little consideration for my conversation with the world I live in.

Then I stumbled across his video and thought...Yah...let's rag on Coca Cola.

In previous blogs I have talked about my immense loathing for Coca Cola. They are not good global citizens. They pirate resources in collaboration with corrupt governments of underdeveloped countries and replace fresh water with coca cola stands for nations that need nourishment.

I have a real hate on for Coca Cola. They lack conscience. My blog, my topic. Sorry.

Check out the video, brush your teeth, be sure to floss and...oh yeah...stop drinking coca cola.

A Message from the Universe

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

~ Barack Obama

I won't say I was struggling with a decision when I saw it, but I was thinking long and hard about something in my life.  I'm pretty slow to make big decisions if there is no urgency involved.  I like to know that I gave these decisions proper and thorough consideration...especially when the decision may impact others.  I get embarrassed sometimes because I feel as though I have this inflated sense of self...like MY decision has a lot more weight than it truly does.  I suppose some of that is just the burdensome responsibility that comes with being a single parent. I am not so arrogant to believe that my decision will change the world...but the big ones often change my world...so that's enough reason for me to give thoughtful consideration to things.

Laugh if you will but when I am really labouring over a problem, I pray for guidance and then I watch for signs.  I listen intently to what others are saying...or not saying.  I pay attention to what song plays on the radio when I'm thinking about my issue.  I pay closer attention to random messages in my everyday -- street signs, newspaper ads, advertisements in windows, greeting cards, news stories, banter on the radio.  It's like an awakening I think, when you open yourself up to world around you after you throw out a simple S.O.S. to the cosmos.  So when I saw it, I knew my decision was made. 

As I left the office, I saw in the sky a Phoenix.  It could not be missed.  The timing was perfect.  I get that it's a cloud, but in that moment, at a time in my life I needed to "see" something, THAT cloud became a message that promised rebirth.  It was relevant and it was timely and it was obvious.   Some will poo, poo this as a coincidence, but it doesn't matter to me because I had asked for guidance and I saw it in the sky.  If you don't ask, you don't get -- so...in the end...what's the harm in asking? 

Besides, in those moments when I believe the universe is communicating to me, I experience a sense of belonging which compares to no other.  It is transformative and powerful and it is the fundamental reason behind the feeling I have that I am blessed.  And to the cynics I would suggest, "Why wouldn't the universe communicate with me?  I am open, I am listening and I am worthy." 

So, thank you universe.  I accept my message.  In return, I send out love.

I Walked Across a Smile

"A smile is happiness you'll find right under your nose.

~ Tom Wilson

I try to walk every day.  In the heat of the summer, that sometimes means an early morning walk before work.  Most days, I like to get a break during my workday and get out for a walk to clear my head.  Occasionally I walk after work to exercise away the day's stress.  I've walked hundreds of miles on the same streets of Perth over many, many days, but today was different.

Today on my walk, I happened across a nice surprise.  As I was headed back down main street to return to the office, I noticed an arrow drawn on the sidewalk in chalk.  I was headed in the direction of the arrow and thought little of it.  I was half expecting a game of hopscotch on my travels but discovered instead a simple message...."Smile." 

I did.

I continued past "Smile" and found myself a the end of the block and a four-directional arrow.  It was clear to me that some kids had been playing a game of some kind -- a treasure hunt maybe.  I crossed the street and continued along my way.

Within half a block, I happened across another message...."One Happy Thought."

So I conjured one...

...and I smiled again.

It was completely unexpected and absolutely delightful.  It brightened what was already a pretty awesome day. 

It would be nice to think that the universe was speaking to me but I get the randomness of it.  Some kid wrote it...I just happened across it.  BUT...it could have rained and washed away; I could have taken another route; it could have been a game of hopscotch.  None of that happened, so I'm taking it as a hug from the collective consciousness of the universe.  It was a message and I received it.

Thank you universe.

Right back atcha!!

So here's my little message to the kid who wrote the message.  "Thank you for not drawing a penis or the chalk outline of a dead person or another hopscotch pattern that I never know whether to jump across or walk around.  Thank you for choosing a five letter word instead of a less-complimentary four letter word.  Whether you had intended it or not, you had an impact.  The choice you made brought joy to another person -- ME -- so....kudos to you Random Nameless Kid.  You rock!"