Doomsday Resolution - Commit to a Theory

With less than one week to go before the Mayan Calendar runs out, we are faced once again with the prophesied end of the world.

The Mayans were especially helpful in identifying the date, however the cause is not clear which makes the whole prediction seem a little wishy-washy in my book.   Some suggest that the world will end when earth collides with a celestial body while other theories portend pestilence.  My kids are partial to the idea of a Zombie Apocalypse and Hollywood has foretold of an alien invasion on more than on occasion.  Solar flares, a shift in the magnetic poles, flood, famine...the possibilities are endless.

After studying the book of Revelations during youth group, I was horrified by the idea that Satan would release his minions upon the face of the earth in a grandiose battle of good versus evil.  Of course, thirty years later I have come to terms with the fact that this has already occurred.  If you don't believe me, open up an account on Plenty of Fish. Malevolent forces will reveal themselves to you.  Be forewarned though...they will want to chat.

With six short days to go, imminent collision with an asteroid or wayward planet would surely be uncovered by NASA if not , by now, any star-gazer with a department store telescope.  I simply don't believe in a conspiracy of silence that would keep this information from the general public.  Try to convince me that the world can keep a secret when Facebook tells me what's being served for dinner on the other side of the country.  I mean really...isn't a message about a heavenly collision so much more interesting than stir fry?

Solar flares and atmospheric changes are a bit of a concern.  I'm Canadian so I have been bred to bitch about the weather.  I don't like it too hot or too cold.  I own more than a dozen coats and twice as many sundresses.  I just worry that if I survive a firestorm or planetary freeze, my gratitude will wane in the weeks that follow and I'll be the ingrate at the survivors' support group meetings complaining about the temperature. I feel embarrassed just thinking about it.

Death by alien invasion is not a compelling idea to me.  While I believe in alien life forms, I'm not confident that they harbour hostilities towards us earthlings.  I mean, I can certainly understand how they may be pissed off by more than one of us...there are certainly a multitude of jackasses in our midst... but I fail to see how a higher life form would hold that against the rest of us.  Besides, who gets rid of a vacation property? Especially in this economy.

I love the idea of pestilence but then, I'm a HUGE Stephen King fan and he wrote about a "super flu" that wiped out a big chunk of the population.  In King's book,"The Stand," the infected masses died mostly behind closed doors in a very short span of time, but I really can't foresee it unfolding this way.  If past experience serves, it is safe to assume that all the sickies will head to the pharmacies, doctor's offices, emergency clinics and whatever lineup I find myself standing in. Who would believe that the world would end in a barrage of retching and writhing? Maybe I'm just fond of this theory because I had my flu shot on Monday. 

The Zombie Apocalypse is especially tempting, but mostly because I know how much it would mean to the kids.  They've watched a lot of shows about zombies...like a Doomsday boot camp of sorts...and they have already devised plans to evade and escape.  If the zombies are lethargic (as depicted on TV), I think I could embrace the Zombie Apocalypse theory though I'm still cheering for the super flu.

It's settled then! Faced with the possibility of extinction in 6 days, I commit to the theory of doomsday by antibiotic-resistant super flu that may or may not turn people into zombies.

Doomsday Resolution...Take a Day Off

As you all know, the Mayan Calendar predicts the end of the world on December 21, 2012. The countdown is on...7 days until the end.

As I have said before, I am not a believer in the end of the world.  I don't want to seem negative, but...
it's  just easier for me to believe that someone "dropped the ball" than it is to believe in a preordained fate for all of mankind.  I totally buy into the notion of an underpaid Mayan labourer hammering dates into stone in a semi-conscious state suddenly distracted by the boss's daughter picking figs in the courtyard...  Things get crazy...the horny worker gets fired and the boss figures...   "What?  Like we're going to need a calendar 5000 years long?   Scrap that project...it was running long and over budget anyhow.  Give the money to the architects!"

Besides, it seems unfair that the end of the world is scheduled for a Friday.  I mean, truthfully, how pissed off are the nine-to-fivers going to be if things go to hell after 5 pm on a Friday? How effective are most people going to be at the end of a work week?  We're emotionally spent from dealing with difficult customers and physically drained from our harrowing work schedules.  I will be very curious to learn if there is a noticeable pattern in the workplace that emerges during the final week of our countdown to doomsday.  Do we work overtime and tie up all our loose ends so that we can focus on fighting for survival without thoughts straying to the expense report we forgot to file?  Do we call in "sick" and spend more time with family and friends so that we have fond memories to sustain us through the coming apocalypse?  Are we distracted and depressed or are we more focused and productive?  I hope that someone out there is paying attention.  I can't wait to find out what happens.  Human behaviour is fascinating!

I'm thinking that we would all appreciate it if, in future, doomsday activities could be scheduled for the beginning of the work week. The way I see it, Monday morning between 6 am and 8 am is an excellent time to schedule our reckoning.  We'll be refreshed from our weekend away from the office, fired up on the week's first pot of coffee and ready to deal with whatever the four horsemen decide to throw at us.  Fair play dictates that we should be well-rested if we're expected to endure a doomsday melee.  Yup. Monday mornings...that's our day.  Take note doomsday prophets!

Again...I want to be certain everyone is clear...I am not a believer.  That said, I will take the opportunity to work my scheduled workdays without overtime from now until December 21st...just in case.  There will be no overtime, no after hours appointments, no "catching up at home."  I have also, for the coming week, sworn off professional development activities (but that is mostly just because it works for me).

It's settled then! Faced with the possibility of extinction in 7 days, I have booked Thursday, December 20th off work.

Doomsday Resolution...Curb Holiday Shopping

According to doomsday prophets, the Mayan Calendar predicts the end of the world in 8 days.  This, of course, is not news.  It was initially making headlines months ago but...well...the date is fast approaching so let's say the countdown is officially on.

I don't personally believe that the world will end in 8 days though I have toyed with the idea from time to time in the last few days, especially in light of the time crunch that Christmas activities bring .  For instance, I am honestly thinking of putting off buying my Christmas turkey until the 22nd.  If all the doomsday followers out there are getting serious about stocking up, I'm thinking canned goods might be in short supply while frozen turkeys should remain relatively plentiful.  Yup.  I think I'll wait.  Who knows...maybe I can take advantage of the End of Mayan Calendar sales that are sure to follow.

I mentioned to the kids that I would probably forego our usual Christmas shopping activities and fast-track the exercise with a "gift card Christmas."  Again, I'm not a believer but I am not above capitalizing on the hype to escape the stresses of Christmas shopping.  I am not an exuberant shopper under the best of circumstances...and is it just me or does everyone seem especially pissy at this time of year?  The lines are longer (which is OK because I just downloaded Boggle to my IPhone) but it can get hot hanging around in a lineup being bumped around by rhino-virus-infected shoppers who lost their patience before they even left the parking lot.  While I don't condone shoplifting, I totally understand how tempting it would be to just head to the exit with your wares shooting looks at the suckers standing in line. Don't get me wrong...I could never bring myself to do it but...MAN!...if I could just throw some cash at the staff and head out the doors without my gift receipt, I might be able to embrace holiday shopping. I would need that little thing that removes the security tags from clothes though. There would probably be a long line up at the store that sells those. I bet you even have to give your name and email account before you get to buy one. Hmmm.. the idea is fast losing its appeal.


The three of us have made a pact to shop after Christmas if the world keeps spinning.  We'll make a day of it...dinner, shopping...maybe even a movie.  The kids understand my aversion and suggested that we would all be better off if I didn't spend the rest of my life shopping.   That said, we're going to go ahead and buy gifts for those that fall outside of our pact.  We don't, after all, want people thinking that we're whack jobs!!!!

It's settled then!  Faced with the possibility of extinction in 8 days, we have agreed to curb our holiday shopping activities.

No Passengers

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another."   ~ Anatole France

A friend once told me that life's natural rhythm cycles through phases of harmony, followed by periods of disharmony, before arriving at harmony again.  This insight is like a beacon to people who find themselves struggling through disharmony; a promise that soon things return to a more gentle rhythm...one that soothes and strenghtens, reassures and resolves. 

Nothing is more difficult than moving forward to uncertainty except, perhaps, standing still with that same feeling of uneasiness.  Standing in the middle of the road waiting for the road to change is not an option...courage lies in the decision to choose a path.  So we do.  We put one foot in front of the other and wait for conviction to build itself around our choice. 

And sometimes...our choices are made for us.  Sometimes we are launched forward into disharmony with no warning or preparation.  Suddenly standing on the road. What we do next is entirely our making.  So we choose. 

The miracle of the human existence is that regardless of the impetus of change, the choices that follow are invariably the same...driven by experience and character inherent in every decision we make no matter how big or small.  Each one of us has a built in navigational system that determines our individual destinations.  To blame our situation on another, or on the fates alone, is to absolve ourselves of our choices. 

We are not, after all, passengers on our journey. 

Parenting in a Brand New World

"When we were kids, our parents taught us to meditate. They said 'Sit down and shut up!'" ~ unknown

Raising kids to become responsible, well-adjusted adults is pretty tricky business I think. As the mother of two teenagers, I feel sometimes like I am flailing about in unknown waters as I throw life preservers at my kids. How in the world do you nurture a sense of adventure in your children when what is most important is to protect them from harm? I decided long ago that sharing this world with my children means exposing them not only to its beauty, but also to its unsavory side...there seems no way around it.

During summers when I was a kid, my parents would take us down to the lake for a swim before bed. It meant crossing a road, so we were shepherded from the house by Mom and Dad - an unholy trio of hot kids who couldn't wait to be "the first one in." I remember one night I ran ahead, bound and determined to be the first one to the dock. My father yelled "stop" and so I did...in the middle of the road. "Did you look?" he asked. I looked in both directions and promptly replied, "Yes." "Lookit here...the only thing you're gonna see is the colour of the car that hits you." Then it hit me. Not a car...but that first feeling of vulnerability...mortality. It was a lesson, albeit a brief one, but I still remember it and - well - I couldn't tell you what I ate for lunch last Tuesday so...let's just say it stuck.

We all agree, we don't want to scare our kids, we just want them to be aware. The world needs risk-takers not martyrs and certainly not more fools. It takes courage to know when the risk outweighs the reward and the world needs heroes so we do our best to help our kids calculate risks and then attack life with purpose and clarity and confidence. We hold our breath as they test the waters and hope they survive each and every lesson as they become more practised at managing their own risks. But they are kids, and they are human, and they make mistakes.

Accidents are just that...heartbreaking tragedies that steal and cheat time away from families and friends and futures. There are no reasons to be found...no villains...no dark motives. Just a sad absence that bores its way into the community that loses a life unlived.

Too many young lives end in so many preventable ways but this one...Ben Rogers...hits home. It wasn't misadventure. It was a choice that, under different circumstances would be applauded as a responsible one. I would have done the same thing...I would have walked.

My kids were talking about Ben and, while I normally offer my opinions I could not offer anything of substance...no deeper insight or understanding. No advice. Nothing. I felt only a tightening in my chest and realized I was holding my breath.